How to Practice Gratitude
| 1 min read
00:00
00:00
About the Show
On this episode, Chuck Gaidica is joined by VP of Clinical Partnerships & Associate CMO for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan, Dr. Amy Milewski. Together, they explore how practicing gratitude can bring us better health and positive relationships.
In this episode of A Healthier Michigan Podcast, we explore:
- How practicing gratitude for 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week for 6 weeks can improve mental wellbeing.
- How gratitude can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and lessen anxiety and depression.
- How expressing gratitude can deepen connections with loved ones by strengthening social bonds.
- Incorporating gratitude into family routines
Transcript
Chuck Gaidica:
Could a simple shift in perspective boost your mood, improve your relationship, and even rewire your brain? This is episode 172 of A Healthier Michigan Podcast. It's a podcast dedicated to navigating how we can improve our health and wellbeing through small, healthy habits that we can all start implementing right now. I'm your host, Chuck Gaidica. And on this episode, we're diving into how this simple yet transformative practice can bring us better health and positive relationships. With us today is the vice president of clinical partnerships and associate CMO for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan, Dr. Amy Milewski. Good to see you, doctor.
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Good to see you, Chuck.
Chuck Gaidica:
Thanks so much. In a world that can often feel overwhelming at times, this practice of gratitude can offer powerful counterbalance to all of that, inviting us to slow down, I think, appreciate the good in our lives from everything from the time you wake up until you go to bed, and from relieving stress to lessening anxiety. Many studies, science shows that gratitude has far-reaching benefits for our overall wellbeing, but the questions are many. One of them is, how exactly can we approach practicing gratitude to positively impact our health and relationships?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah, Chuck, it's a great question. And as you mentioned, there are many studies out there that show that practicing gratitude can improve your overall health and wellbeing. And in the ways that we practice it, just like anything else that we do in our life from exercise to diet, it's really about being very intentional and incorporating this practice routinely throughout your life. Mental wellness shows, the studies around mental wellness and improving mental wellness really looked at people who did this 15 minutes a day, five days a week for six weeks and found that it improved their mental wellbeing.
Chuck Gaidica:
And it really can be as simple as I'm just thankful for the breath I've got in me today, right? I mean, if you start to analyze what you could be grateful for, you could stack these things up and every day. And yet, so many of us just kind of fly right past that, don't we?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Absolutely. I think sometimes we pause and we take in when there are really big things like, hey, I'm grateful for that job promotion. But really, it can be as simple as I'm grateful that I woke up and the sun is shining this morning, or I'm really grateful for that warm cup of coffee, or I really enjoy my tea and I'm really grateful for that time that I have every morning with my cup of tea. I mean, it can be very simple things, and sometimes that's the best place to start.
Chuck Gaidica:
So if we regularly practice this idea of gratitude, even if we have a journal, maybe, how does that directly affect mental health and emotional resilience?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah, it's a great question. So there are many studies out there that have shown this kind of impact of correlation of less stress when you practice gratitude. It actually can do things like reduce your heart rate and synchronize your breathing. It can impact the stress hormones in your body that are linked to heart disease. It can lessen anxiety and depression when it's done over time. So just a myriad of benefits that are all interconnected.
Chuck Gaidica:
So the idea that this can really extend out to your physical health is something we should be paying attention to because what you're talking about, some of that stuff you could track. If you're somebody that's got hypertension or you see your blood pressure goes up because you've got a home cuff, you likely could literally watch it come down if you start to practice some gratitude, right? You could literally see the difference.
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yes. One of the really interesting studies that was done out there actually showed that people that were writing things down and routinely practicing gratitude journaling, they were found to have a lower diastolic blood pressure when done over time. And it was very, very significant in the studies. So it absolutely, through all of the things by decreasing stress and things like that, it can impact your physical health in things like lowering your blood pressure, which we know is linked to heart disease.
Chuck Gaidica:
Yeah, that's really great stuff. And there's a theory that's out there, and you can tell us if it's gone a little beyond theory, it's called find, remind, and bind theory. And it suggests that gratitude strengthens relationships. Can you explain how expressing gratitude can actually deepen connections with loved ones?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah. This has been done in some of the social science research. And they've looked at gratitude as being really linked into our own evolutionary ways that societies develop and relationships develop, that when people practice gratitude, it signals that to others. So if I'm practicing gratitude and I have a receptive partner on the other side and I'm saying, "I'm grateful for the things that you're doing," that strengthens that bond and that relationship over time. And so it really is important for societies and for relationships in that theory as well.
Chuck Gaidica:
And it seems too that that idea, for some people, expressing this idea to another person can feel awkward or it's just not the way you're wired, right? You're just not going to be that person that says, "Here's why I'm grateful." But yet, in the small things, leaving somebody's coffee pot out, getting ready for something else, doing things can often show this idea that I'm grateful for you as my spouse, as a child in the house, right? You can actually show it in other ways besides articulating it if you're not wired that way.
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, acts of service and doing things for other people is one way to show gratitude. Another thing as I was reading and prepping for this that I thought was really interesting was we go through the day and many of us are taught to say thank you, but we do it so automatically. Just slowing yourself down and being a little more mindful, like, "Thank you for doing that for me and being really mindful," then you are starting to contract the benefits of gratitude as well, as opposed to that automated, "Oh, thank you." Really slowing yourself down and just saying, "Thank you for taking care of that for me," and really absorbing that as you go through your day can also be another way of practicing gratitude.
Chuck Gaidica:
I have to admit to you, I'm not really good at what I'm about to say, but I've been trying to place this into my habits now. So I may go to a fast food place, right? I'm in line, somebody's building the burrito. And I pick this up by watching a few other people do it, so I'm trying to make it part of my routine is to say to someone at that appropriate moment, "I appreciate you." It's a little different than thank you. It seems to be a little deeper. And oftentimes, I've noticed because I'm still experimenting with it, I'm trying to make it not inappropriate, and at the same time I'm watching aha moments go off where someone, they'll raise their head and be like, "Well, that's a different deal. That's a different response."
Dr. Amy Milewski:
I couldn't agree with you more. And you see it. When you say that to someone during your day, you're going through, oftentimes people don't hear it. Oftentimes, they're hearing complaints throughout the day or they're getting yelled at, people who are in the service industry. And when you stop for a minute and just say, "I really appreciate what you're doing," you can see somebody, it can change their whole demeanor. And we know that that kind of shared reciprocity of that can really impact someone else's stress level as well. So it's a gift that you're giving to somebody else.
Chuck Gaidica:
That's a great way to look at it, that it's a gift. Are there any other hacks that come to mind, that quick little things that maybe we wouldn't have considered practicing that fall into this bucket of gratitude or offering it to others?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah. I think as we think about, how do we incorporate this? How do we bring this into our family to strengthen our relationships? Just thinking about many of us go through them, we talk about the day and we can tend to focus on the negative, right? The bad things that happened during the day. Just reframing it and saying, "Tell me about something positive that happened in your day, one thing." It could be that my car took me to my job that day, right? It really is this kind of reframing your mind around the events of your day can really be helpful. And then you can incorporate that, whether it's dinnertime or in a discussion with your kids at the end of the day, and teaching them that habit as well.
Chuck Gaidica:
So do you find, not just at this time of the year, but there are people that may be struggling with grief at any time of the year or anxiety or depression. And you don't want to make this a fake thing where you're just searching for things to be grateful for. But how do we do this where if you are someone who's struggling with feeling grateful, especially during a blue period, what advice do you give someone to try to break out of that so they can see the light?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah. We're coming into a tough season in the holidays for a lot of people. And I think you always want to make sure that you are mindful and recognizing what people are struggling with and validating those feelings. And I think a way to break out of that is just maybe helping to demonstrate that through your own activities, or in your discussions with that person just offering that friendship and stepping forward. And then also recognizing that some people may need professional help in those situations as well. But in that conversation, I think you can model it. But also, you should be validating that people sometimes are having a tough time. And so offering that friendship and stepping in in that way is oftentimes really helpful for folks.
Chuck Gaidica:
And it seems if you combine that with a little phrase, it may not be I appreciate you, but it may be as simple as, this time of the year where we all tend to get busy, calling that friend or loved one and saying, "I'm really grateful for our friendship, for our connection. How about lunch?" Just saying that seems to me to elevate it to a point where that becomes something I would remember if somebody said that to me instead of just getting a text or a phone call, "Hey, let's go do lunch." It's a very little thing, but as you're talking about all of these ideas, it's like this really could have high impact if you start to make it part of your MO in life.
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Absolutely. And people are longing for connection in this time where we are so digitally enabled, right? But studies out there are showing that people are as lonely as ever. It's that social connection and reaching out and creating that fabric and incorporating, "Hey, I'm grateful for your friendship. I'd love to connect sometime and have a discussion," I think can go a really long way.
Chuck Gaidica:
How about this idea of within the family, we have a lot of gathering of families. But especially as couples, how do we use gratitude? You've talked about some ways already. We've kind of talked about those. But any other ways where we can improve communication between us living in the same house or when we start to see visitors come in that not only prevents conflict this time of the year especially, but also strengthens the relationship now and even over time?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah. I think in practicing gratitude, particularly in couples or in families, that offering that opportunity, number one, I believe very much in modeling, right? I think that practicing that yourself is the best way to model that for others and get that back as well. But then also, practicing this in couples can really help people feel heard. And maybe trying to elicit that, like that question that I mentioned earlier. And I have a very good friend who does this to me. I'll be like, "Oh, this happened, that happened." And she will say to me, "Tell me about something that was really good in your day. Tell me about something that happened that was good." And just that question helps me to kind of open up and reframe and go, "You know what? There were a lot of good things that happened today." So it's that reframing. And I think we can help one another in that way.
Chuck Gaidica:
So you mean even doctors are mere mortals that sometimes somebody has to give you a nudge and remind you too?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Absolutely, absolutely.
Chuck Gaidica:
So much good stuff in this episode, but let's recap some of the takeaways and anything else you'd like to give us as we head into the holidays here, especially in the new year. How do we start to practice this idea of being grateful in all things?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah. I think there's a number of ways. I think one of the most common things that we hear about is journaling, and there's definitely good evidence of that. Maybe just taking five minutes in the morning and writing one thing down, or in the evening, whatever works best for you. But you don't have to write or journal to get the benefits of it. Just slowing down and thinking through or expressing verbally what you're grateful for. Some people will actually do it on their social media. I've seen people take 30 days of gratitude and write down one thing every day. So just pick your space and start trying to incorporate it. I think the biggest thing is being intentional and being routine about it and getting it incorporated just like any other habit, and then that is what will contribute. The thing about gratitude that's interesting is I think it's cyclical. It builds on itself. It creates this strong foundation of resilience. So you start practicing it, it improves your mental wellbeing, and then you're more likely to practice it so it becomes this kind of chicken and egg type of situation.
Chuck Gaidica:
Well, Dr. Milewski, we appreciate you. Thanks for being with us.
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Thanks so much, Chuck.
Chuck Gaidica:
Dr. Milewski is the vice president of clinical partnerships and associate CMO for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan. And we want to thank you for listening. We know you've got precious time and you can always listen to this podcast. It's A Healthier Michigan Podcast. It's brought to you by Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan. If you like the show and you want to know more, check out online ahealthiermichigan.org/podcast. You can leave us a review or rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can always follow us on Facebook, Instagram, or X. And you can get new episodes, old episodes on your smartphone or tablet, so you can take it with us as you're going for a walk or something. Be sure to subscribe to us as well on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or your favorite podcast app. I'm Chuck Gaidica. We're grateful for you too.
Could a simple shift in perspective boost your mood, improve your relationship, and even rewire your brain? This is episode 172 of A Healthier Michigan Podcast. It's a podcast dedicated to navigating how we can improve our health and wellbeing through small, healthy habits that we can all start implementing right now. I'm your host, Chuck Gaidica. And on this episode, we're diving into how this simple yet transformative practice can bring us better health and positive relationships. With us today is the vice president of clinical partnerships and associate CMO for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan, Dr. Amy Milewski. Good to see you, doctor.
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Good to see you, Chuck.
Chuck Gaidica:
Thanks so much. In a world that can often feel overwhelming at times, this practice of gratitude can offer powerful counterbalance to all of that, inviting us to slow down, I think, appreciate the good in our lives from everything from the time you wake up until you go to bed, and from relieving stress to lessening anxiety. Many studies, science shows that gratitude has far-reaching benefits for our overall wellbeing, but the questions are many. One of them is, how exactly can we approach practicing gratitude to positively impact our health and relationships?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah, Chuck, it's a great question. And as you mentioned, there are many studies out there that show that practicing gratitude can improve your overall health and wellbeing. And in the ways that we practice it, just like anything else that we do in our life from exercise to diet, it's really about being very intentional and incorporating this practice routinely throughout your life. Mental wellness shows, the studies around mental wellness and improving mental wellness really looked at people who did this 15 minutes a day, five days a week for six weeks and found that it improved their mental wellbeing.
Chuck Gaidica:
And it really can be as simple as I'm just thankful for the breath I've got in me today, right? I mean, if you start to analyze what you could be grateful for, you could stack these things up and every day. And yet, so many of us just kind of fly right past that, don't we?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Absolutely. I think sometimes we pause and we take in when there are really big things like, hey, I'm grateful for that job promotion. But really, it can be as simple as I'm grateful that I woke up and the sun is shining this morning, or I'm really grateful for that warm cup of coffee, or I really enjoy my tea and I'm really grateful for that time that I have every morning with my cup of tea. I mean, it can be very simple things, and sometimes that's the best place to start.
Chuck Gaidica:
So if we regularly practice this idea of gratitude, even if we have a journal, maybe, how does that directly affect mental health and emotional resilience?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah, it's a great question. So there are many studies out there that have shown this kind of impact of correlation of less stress when you practice gratitude. It actually can do things like reduce your heart rate and synchronize your breathing. It can impact the stress hormones in your body that are linked to heart disease. It can lessen anxiety and depression when it's done over time. So just a myriad of benefits that are all interconnected.
Chuck Gaidica:
So the idea that this can really extend out to your physical health is something we should be paying attention to because what you're talking about, some of that stuff you could track. If you're somebody that's got hypertension or you see your blood pressure goes up because you've got a home cuff, you likely could literally watch it come down if you start to practice some gratitude, right? You could literally see the difference.
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yes. One of the really interesting studies that was done out there actually showed that people that were writing things down and routinely practicing gratitude journaling, they were found to have a lower diastolic blood pressure when done over time. And it was very, very significant in the studies. So it absolutely, through all of the things by decreasing stress and things like that, it can impact your physical health in things like lowering your blood pressure, which we know is linked to heart disease.
Chuck Gaidica:
Yeah, that's really great stuff. And there's a theory that's out there, and you can tell us if it's gone a little beyond theory, it's called find, remind, and bind theory. And it suggests that gratitude strengthens relationships. Can you explain how expressing gratitude can actually deepen connections with loved ones?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah. This has been done in some of the social science research. And they've looked at gratitude as being really linked into our own evolutionary ways that societies develop and relationships develop, that when people practice gratitude, it signals that to others. So if I'm practicing gratitude and I have a receptive partner on the other side and I'm saying, "I'm grateful for the things that you're doing," that strengthens that bond and that relationship over time. And so it really is important for societies and for relationships in that theory as well.
Chuck Gaidica:
And it seems too that that idea, for some people, expressing this idea to another person can feel awkward or it's just not the way you're wired, right? You're just not going to be that person that says, "Here's why I'm grateful." But yet, in the small things, leaving somebody's coffee pot out, getting ready for something else, doing things can often show this idea that I'm grateful for you as my spouse, as a child in the house, right? You can actually show it in other ways besides articulating it if you're not wired that way.
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, acts of service and doing things for other people is one way to show gratitude. Another thing as I was reading and prepping for this that I thought was really interesting was we go through the day and many of us are taught to say thank you, but we do it so automatically. Just slowing yourself down and being a little more mindful, like, "Thank you for doing that for me and being really mindful," then you are starting to contract the benefits of gratitude as well, as opposed to that automated, "Oh, thank you." Really slowing yourself down and just saying, "Thank you for taking care of that for me," and really absorbing that as you go through your day can also be another way of practicing gratitude.
Chuck Gaidica:
I have to admit to you, I'm not really good at what I'm about to say, but I've been trying to place this into my habits now. So I may go to a fast food place, right? I'm in line, somebody's building the burrito. And I pick this up by watching a few other people do it, so I'm trying to make it part of my routine is to say to someone at that appropriate moment, "I appreciate you." It's a little different than thank you. It seems to be a little deeper. And oftentimes, I've noticed because I'm still experimenting with it, I'm trying to make it not inappropriate, and at the same time I'm watching aha moments go off where someone, they'll raise their head and be like, "Well, that's a different deal. That's a different response."
Dr. Amy Milewski:
I couldn't agree with you more. And you see it. When you say that to someone during your day, you're going through, oftentimes people don't hear it. Oftentimes, they're hearing complaints throughout the day or they're getting yelled at, people who are in the service industry. And when you stop for a minute and just say, "I really appreciate what you're doing," you can see somebody, it can change their whole demeanor. And we know that that kind of shared reciprocity of that can really impact someone else's stress level as well. So it's a gift that you're giving to somebody else.
Chuck Gaidica:
That's a great way to look at it, that it's a gift. Are there any other hacks that come to mind, that quick little things that maybe we wouldn't have considered practicing that fall into this bucket of gratitude or offering it to others?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah. I think as we think about, how do we incorporate this? How do we bring this into our family to strengthen our relationships? Just thinking about many of us go through them, we talk about the day and we can tend to focus on the negative, right? The bad things that happened during the day. Just reframing it and saying, "Tell me about something positive that happened in your day, one thing." It could be that my car took me to my job that day, right? It really is this kind of reframing your mind around the events of your day can really be helpful. And then you can incorporate that, whether it's dinnertime or in a discussion with your kids at the end of the day, and teaching them that habit as well.
Chuck Gaidica:
So do you find, not just at this time of the year, but there are people that may be struggling with grief at any time of the year or anxiety or depression. And you don't want to make this a fake thing where you're just searching for things to be grateful for. But how do we do this where if you are someone who's struggling with feeling grateful, especially during a blue period, what advice do you give someone to try to break out of that so they can see the light?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah. We're coming into a tough season in the holidays for a lot of people. And I think you always want to make sure that you are mindful and recognizing what people are struggling with and validating those feelings. And I think a way to break out of that is just maybe helping to demonstrate that through your own activities, or in your discussions with that person just offering that friendship and stepping forward. And then also recognizing that some people may need professional help in those situations as well. But in that conversation, I think you can model it. But also, you should be validating that people sometimes are having a tough time. And so offering that friendship and stepping in in that way is oftentimes really helpful for folks.
Chuck Gaidica:
And it seems if you combine that with a little phrase, it may not be I appreciate you, but it may be as simple as, this time of the year where we all tend to get busy, calling that friend or loved one and saying, "I'm really grateful for our friendship, for our connection. How about lunch?" Just saying that seems to me to elevate it to a point where that becomes something I would remember if somebody said that to me instead of just getting a text or a phone call, "Hey, let's go do lunch." It's a very little thing, but as you're talking about all of these ideas, it's like this really could have high impact if you start to make it part of your MO in life.
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Absolutely. And people are longing for connection in this time where we are so digitally enabled, right? But studies out there are showing that people are as lonely as ever. It's that social connection and reaching out and creating that fabric and incorporating, "Hey, I'm grateful for your friendship. I'd love to connect sometime and have a discussion," I think can go a really long way.
Chuck Gaidica:
How about this idea of within the family, we have a lot of gathering of families. But especially as couples, how do we use gratitude? You've talked about some ways already. We've kind of talked about those. But any other ways where we can improve communication between us living in the same house or when we start to see visitors come in that not only prevents conflict this time of the year especially, but also strengthens the relationship now and even over time?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah. I think in practicing gratitude, particularly in couples or in families, that offering that opportunity, number one, I believe very much in modeling, right? I think that practicing that yourself is the best way to model that for others and get that back as well. But then also, practicing this in couples can really help people feel heard. And maybe trying to elicit that, like that question that I mentioned earlier. And I have a very good friend who does this to me. I'll be like, "Oh, this happened, that happened." And she will say to me, "Tell me about something that was really good in your day. Tell me about something that happened that was good." And just that question helps me to kind of open up and reframe and go, "You know what? There were a lot of good things that happened today." So it's that reframing. And I think we can help one another in that way.
Chuck Gaidica:
So you mean even doctors are mere mortals that sometimes somebody has to give you a nudge and remind you too?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Absolutely, absolutely.
Chuck Gaidica:
So much good stuff in this episode, but let's recap some of the takeaways and anything else you'd like to give us as we head into the holidays here, especially in the new year. How do we start to practice this idea of being grateful in all things?
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Yeah. I think there's a number of ways. I think one of the most common things that we hear about is journaling, and there's definitely good evidence of that. Maybe just taking five minutes in the morning and writing one thing down, or in the evening, whatever works best for you. But you don't have to write or journal to get the benefits of it. Just slowing down and thinking through or expressing verbally what you're grateful for. Some people will actually do it on their social media. I've seen people take 30 days of gratitude and write down one thing every day. So just pick your space and start trying to incorporate it. I think the biggest thing is being intentional and being routine about it and getting it incorporated just like any other habit, and then that is what will contribute. The thing about gratitude that's interesting is I think it's cyclical. It builds on itself. It creates this strong foundation of resilience. So you start practicing it, it improves your mental wellbeing, and then you're more likely to practice it so it becomes this kind of chicken and egg type of situation.
Chuck Gaidica:
Well, Dr. Milewski, we appreciate you. Thanks for being with us.
Dr. Amy Milewski:
Thanks so much, Chuck.
Chuck Gaidica:
Dr. Milewski is the vice president of clinical partnerships and associate CMO for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan. And we want to thank you for listening. We know you've got precious time and you can always listen to this podcast. It's A Healthier Michigan Podcast. It's brought to you by Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan. If you like the show and you want to know more, check out online ahealthiermichigan.org/podcast. You can leave us a review or rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can always follow us on Facebook, Instagram, or X. And you can get new episodes, old episodes on your smartphone or tablet, so you can take it with us as you're going for a walk or something. Be sure to subscribe to us as well on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or your favorite podcast app. I'm Chuck Gaidica. We're grateful for you too.
