How My Panic Attacks Actually Feel Scary
Monica Drake
| 3 min read
Imagine you’re walking in a parking lot when a robber puts a gun to your head and demands all your money. Your heart rate would likely increase, you’d start sweating and you would probably be afraid for your life.
I can feel like this for seemingly no reason. Maybe it’s while I’m at work, driving, sitting on the couch or lying in bed in the middle of the night. Suddenly, I feel a sense of impending danger. My eyes well up with tears, my heart starts racing and I feel nauseous. I get intense pain in the center of my chest, like someone is pressing down on top of me, and I feel light-headed, like I’m getting less oxygen to my brain.
These symptoms make sense during a time of fear or intense sadness, but it can be really scary when they appear for no apparent reason. On top of the physical symptoms, negative thoughts run through my mind as if they’re coming from someone else — that I’m an awful, ugly, worthless person no one could ever love.
What I do when I’m having a panic attack
Because a panic attack is not a logical experience, it can be hard to know what to do. One of the most important things for me is to acknowledge that I’m having one. I tell myself, “This is just a panic attack. It is not life-threatening. You are not going to die. It will pass, and you will return to your baseline.”
I’ve found a few simple actions can help minimize an attack. I focus on breathing, since attacks cause me to hyperventilate or forget to breathe. I also practice journaling, writing down how I'm feeling in a stream-of-conscious way. This helps me realize what I'm thinking and feeling and helps my brain start to return to a more normal state.
Taking a walk around the block also does wonders for centering myself, and if I feel an attack coming on, I take a prescription Xanax. Medication is a personal choice I’ve discussed with my physician.
How others can help
Because a panic attack feels so out of my control, I've also learned that a little help from others can be incredibly comforting. First of all, I ask that they don't keep asking me what's wrong. I know I'm crying and shaking uncontrollably, but when I say, "I don't know," I'm telling the truth. Most of the time, truly nothing caused it. Constant questioning only makes it worse. It doesn’t help to tell me to "relax" or "calm down." These are trigger words for me. I am already feeling helpless, and being told to do something that feels impossible has the opposite effect.
Instead, it helps when loved ones reassure me. When they remind me they care and they are there, it makes a world of difference. Also, when my mind feels trapped in those scary thoughts, I've found a simple distraction like a funny story or good news can be the most powerful way to kick me back to reality and help me forget how I’m feeling for a moment
Learn more about panic attacks
I hope sharing my experience helps you feel a little less alone if you also experience panic attacks. If you're looking for more guidance, there are resources that can help. Blue Cross is hosting a Virtual Well-being Webinar at noon Thursday, Sept. 25. Julia Isaacs, director of Behavioral Health Strategy and Planning, will discuss what can lead to and perpetuate panic attacks.
Click here to register for “Don’t Panic! Let’s Talk About Panic Attacks.”
Image: Courtesy of Monica Drake
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