Here is What I Did When Life Felt Pointless
Monica Drake
| 4 min read
According to the American Psychological Association, studies show that the more exposure you have to the news, the more likely you are to experience symptoms of depression. As a former journalist, I hate to admit that this is why, for my own mental health, sometimes I need to avoid the news.
When death and catastrophic events make up the headlines, it can be hard not to feel like life is pointless and nothing matters. Consistently having hopeless thoughts like these can indicate a struggle with depression.
Depression is different than feeling sad. Sadness is a natural human reaction to loss, but it is temporary and doesn’t affect your daily life. Depression, on the other hand, lasts for at least two weeks and can continue for months and even years without treatment.
Here are things I do when life feels pointless.
Make a list of things I can control.
As someone with anxiety disorder, I spend way too much time worrying about the unknown. After my uncle died earlier, it reminded me of how fragile life is and how much of it is out of my control. I had to remind myself that, while I can’t control how and when the people I love will die, I can control the time I spend with them and the things I say to them today.
It can be easy to obsess over what’s beyond my control. Instead, I try to refocus my thoughts on the things I can control and the goals I can work toward.
Do something good for someone else.
It’s hard to feel like my life is pointless when something I did made a difference or helped someone else feel better. That’s why I decided to write this monthly column and why I’m so open about my own mental health. By doing this, I know I've helped others who are struggling with similar issues not feel so alone.
When I feel myself losing faith in humanity, I think of something I can do to help those around me. Maybe it’s reaching out to someone who is struggling, or maybe it’s joining a cause that’s important to me. Or maybe it’s as simple as buying the coffee of the person behind me at the drive-thru or complimenting a stranger. These things can help make someone else’s day.
Recognize my importance to others.
I was suicidal in high school and thought, “If I died, no one would care.” That’s a lie that depression tells, and it’s not true. Even though, at the time, I didn’t open up to anyone about my suicidal thoughts, my mom could tell something was wrong. With tears in her eyes, she told me that I was her angel and that she couldn’t stand it if anything happened to me. Her saying that honestly saved my life because it reminded me that, no matter what I thought about myself, there was one person who cared about me, loved me no matter what, and whose life would forever be affected if I died.
Whenever I feel like life is pointless, I remind myself of how important I am to others. My child relies on me to care for him. My family and friends would be devastated if I were no longer here. What is greater proof that life is not pointless than recognizing the meaning my life holds for the people and animals in it?
Take a break from the news.
I can spend hours consuming news story after news story, a habit known as “doomscrolling.” I noticed that the more I did this, the more depressed I became. For my own mental health, I stopped reaching for my phone to check the news when I first woke up in the morning. I set limits to my access to media–which sometimes meant turning off my phone completely. Instead, I watch a funny TV show or my favorite comfort movie. I put down my phone and go for a walk outside. I do something that relieves my stress instead of adds to it.
Seek help.
Depression can affect all aspects of life — relationships, work and even your will to live. If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental illness, talk to your primary care provider, who can treat mental health issues or refer you to a psychiatrist or therapist for additional help. For resources, visit bcbsm.com/mentalhealth.
If you are experiencing suicidal ideations, call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which is available 24/7, or visit 988lifeline.org to chat online.
Opinions expressed in this blog belong solely to the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan or its subsidiaries and affiliates.
Photo credit: Courtesy of Monica Drake
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